Ember's Beacon
by Emom
Summary: Will tragedy cloud Johnny's mind when someone develops a crush on him? Is he able to listen to Roy's advice before it's gone too far?
1. Chapter 1

Ember's Beacon

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home. _

If you suppress grief too much, it can well redouble. ~Moliere

* * *

Chapter 1

Working twenty four hour shifts certainly had its advantages but there was always that day when things just seemed to accumulate until they can't be put off any longer. To finally have a day off in between extra work shifts was rapidly evolving into twenty four hours of utter chaos for Johnny Gage. Snatching the 'to do' list off the refrigerator he unceremoniously shoved it into his blue jeans pocket before beginning the fishing expedition through the sofa cushions in hopes of finding the keys that he had in his hands only minutes before.

"Damn it," he grumbled as he snatched back his hand to find a bleeding finger that had managed to locate that sewing needle he had lost the week before.

Sticking the wounded appendage into his mouth he moved to the mantle next finally locating the keys just as the phone started ringing.

"Ughhh," he growled with escalating frustration as he ran to grab it before it stopped ringing.

"Hello?"

"_Hey Johnny_."

Quietly letting out a deep sigh he dropped his shoulders and slid his keys on the table as he pulled out a chair to sit on.

"Hey Mack, how ya doing?" Any evidence of frustration left his tone immediately.

"_It's um; it's been a hard day_."

He could hear the pain in his friend's voice like the day it had happened.

"I'm really sorry Mack, is there anything I can do?"

"_I just really need someone to talk to_."

Johnny thought of his list waiting in his pocket, the appointment he was almost late for, and how suddenly there was just not enough time in this one day.

"I can't talk right now but I can come by there this evening if that's okay," he said.

There was a moment of silence on the other end of the phone. "_Yea, that'd be great, thanks_."

Johnny stood up and picked up his keys. "Okay, sounds good. See you around seven."

"_Thanks man_."

Hanging up the phone with a heavy heart he headed out the front door and to his Rover.

* * *

Running to a fast food joint for a burger and fries wasn't exactly what he wanted for lunch it was just the least time consuming option when he still had pressing issues that had to be dealt with. Working overtime had its plus's but this was one of those days that made him wonder what in the world had he been thinking when he kept saying yes.

"Johnny boy you gotta learn to start saying no sometimes," he mumbled as he shoved in another French fry.

The next stop of the day was ahead and he pulled into the auto shop and passed over the keys to the mechanic. While the Rover was getting some scheduled maintaince he walked down the street to the bank.

"Is Mr. Parsons in?" he asked the clerk at the front desk.

She looked up to him and smiled curtly. "And you are?"

"John Gage, we have an appointment for one."

She looked over the calendar then eyed him through the top of her narrow black frames. "Mr. Gage, I have you down for three o'clock."

He felt like pulling his hair out. "No, it was one. I'm sure it was one. I have something else planned for three today."

Snapping her pencil down on the desk her smile changed to a shade of perturbed. "I'm very sorry Mr. Gage. You are welcome to cancel your appointment of course."

Gritting his teeth he took a deep breath forcing him to relax and speak patiently. "It took me a month to get this appointment. I can't wait another month." He let out another breath and his shoulders slumped. "I guess I'll keep it."

She smiled smugly, her eyes glistening with control. "Then we will see you back in a couple of hours then." Dismissing him she went back to work without saying anything further.

With annoyance and exasperation he walked back down to the auto shop.

"Hey Les, how's it look?" He looked at the grease covered older man who tugged on his beard. It wasn't a look he wanted to see. "Oh come on." He shoved his hands on his hips. "Please Les, I need some good news today."

The older man shook his head. "Sorry pal, looks like that transmission needs some work."

Johnny shook his head as he closed his eyes. "How much more mileage can I get out of it?"

Les tossed the wrench into the toolbox on the floor. "Not much and frankly the sooner you get this taken care of the more likely we can save this engine."

He almost laughed. "Sure, why not. You got it on the rack already so just do what you need to do."

The mechanic nodded. "Okay, I'll have it ready for you by five."

Johnny chuckled. "Great, thanks. Wouldn't happen to have a loaner I could borrow would you?"

"Sure. Just check the Mag in the office."

Sitting on the outside bench with his legs stretched out and feet crossed he waited patiently while scribbling on a cross word puzzle that was on the verge of ending up in the garbage can next to him. This was not the time for him to focus on a seven letter word for 'abundance of free time'.

The moment of solitude allowed his mind to wander to memories of that horrible night when a midnight alarm sent them to a traffic accident which involved a fellow firefighter and friend. Nightmares still haunted him of pulling out the dead bodies of Mack's wife and three year old son while harboring the lone grateful thought that they had died on impact and not suffered. He'd been friends with Mack since the fire academy and long before he ever knew that station 51 even existed. The last few weeks he'd watched his friend battle through recovering from his own injuries, burying his family, and dealing with the demons of being alone.

When the paperwork was complete and he had loaner keys in hand a quick look at his watch left him figuring he had just enough time to swing by and pay a bill, grab some groceries, return to the bank then pick up the Rover before heading over to Mack's house. However, the seven red lights, one out of the way detour and one full parking lot had him with only enough time to run straight to the bank in an effort to just get there in time.

* * *

Over three hours later, utterly drained, and feeling like he had been raked over the coals in an effort to secure his new loan he headed down the three blocks to get back to the car. The early sunset was an apt reminder of how quickly the day was getting away from him and his steps unconsciously quickened to make up for time he couldn't afford to lose at this point.

Pulling into the auto shop lot he was instantly greeted with a chain locked and effectively closed gate. Getting out of the car he shook the lock and called towards the shop for someone, anyone, knowing that Les had expected him to come back for the Rover. Another glance at his watched reminded him how late he was getting back and the fact that he was an hour past closing.

Now he was screwed and the ineffective kick at the gate did nothing for his foot. The night was closing on him quickly and he desperately needed to get back on the road as soon as possible. Finding a payphone was pretty easy, finding change proved more challenging. So, a few blocks, a gas station, and a payphone later he managed to reach Les who thankfully said he would head that way.

Les was a grateful sight when he finally pulled into the lot and quickly relinquished the prisoner. The next paranoid watch check told him he had just enough time to grab some groceries for the station since it was his turn to cook tomorrow before calling an end to the crazy day.

The small family market tucked into the worn down strip mall was his local favorite since moving to this part of town. It had somehow managed to maintain its personal quaintness despite the growing city that threatened to smother it out with big chain faceless stores full of every item you need except for a friendly smile and individual service.

"Hey there Mr. Ford," Johnny called out to the shop owner as he rushed through the front door.

"Evening Johnny. What's the hurry? Gotta fire to rush too?"

Mr. Ford was in his 70's; grey headed with a dry sense of humor that Johnny easily related to.

"I'll be in one tomorrow if I don't have the stuff to cook dinner." He grabbed a hand held basket and headed to the produce first.

Mr. Ford waved at him and chuckled to the cashier. "If he's cooking they're already in trouble."

Johnny tossed a bag of potatoes into his basket. "I heard that."

With a deep laugh the man left the front of the store and headed to his office. Johnny already had the menu planned out and knew exactly what he needed to grab so he easily moved from row to row. Skidding to a halt when he found the canned tomatoes section empty he wandered to the back of the store where he could hear Mr. Ford yelling at someone.

"Uh, Mr. Ford?" He peeked into the room to see the older man trying to push a large box onto the top shelf.

Johnny quickly set his basket down on the makeshift desk and rushed over to help him. "Here, let me help with that."

Once it was securely on the shelf Mr. Ford turned to him. "Thank you son. Indy's off today and didn't get the supplies put up before he left." He reached down for the next box which looked just as overloaded as the last one.

"No problem. Wouldn't happen to have any tomatoes in here would you?" Johnny said with a chuckle.

The older man crinkled up his face in thought as his eyes skirted through the room doing a minute inventory of all the assorted boxes. Without answering he walked over and reached up to pull down a box. Then, just as Johnny moved forward to offer his assistance again the shelf began to tip in their direction. Without warning, several loaded boxes proceeded to rain down on top of them.

With instinct Johnny lunged toward the man managing to push enough away from Mr. Ford's head as he heard the man grunt loud with exertion. What he couldn't stop was the rest of the inventory from falling on top of them in a rain of miscellaneous can goods and bottles. In that split second notice he simply did his best to keep the man from hitting the ground hard.

"Mr. Ford?" He called out as he worked at pushing boxes and littered nonperishables away from them. "Where are you hurting?"

The older man's eyes were wide with panic and his hand went to his chest. The color had drained from his face and beads of perspiration instantly formed along his hair line. Johnny's hand found his wrist to check a pulse then he turned back to the door.

"CARLOS?" he called loudly in to the store.

Within seconds the cashier, a young Hispanic man, burst through the door. "What happened? Mr. Ford?"

Johnny kept calm. "I need you to call the fire department right now. Tell them we need a squad and an ambulance. He's having chest pain."

Johnny didn't want to elaborate his concerns in front of the shaky patient but all the signs of pending heart attack screamed at him. Once Carlos disappeared he turned back to see what little color the man had disappear.

He spoke as he loosened his tie and unbuttoned the first few on his shirt. "You're going to be okay Mr. Ford. I need you to try and relax okay?"

Seeing him release his chest and go limp Johnny shook him and called out his name. Eliciting no response and with a quick check of his pulse his worst fear was realized. Pushing the scattered cans out of his way he found his markings and began chest compressions.

"Come on Mr. Ford," he began talking between cycles. "Don't do this to me now." He continued to compress and began mouth to mouth resuscitation. "Mrs. Ford won't let me hear the end of it and that means no more apple pie for us." Silently his head kept count as he waited to hear the sirens. "We discussed this just the other day you know, how much I love her apple pie and you try to avoid her lectures? You told me it was always better to let her have her way didn't you?"

A quick glance showed the wide eyed panic of Carlos at the doorway. "Close the store and stay up front to watch for them." He never missed a beat and continued his random conversation. "You know this day has been crazy already and I really need you to come back Paul. You know this place can't run without you." He was getting winded and got quiet for a moment to gratefully hear the distant sound of sirens.

"Here they come so don't make me look back okay? It's time to come back now and show us who the boss of this place is."

Within a couple of minutes he heard the sound of running footsteps through the store then with relief to see that reinforcements had arrived. Looking up he was grateful it was Dwyer and Brice knowing the man would be in good hands now. While putting on the leads for the monitor he quickly gave them a report on what had happened up to their arrival as he continued the compressions. A pause in CPR revealed V-fib. Following two defibrillated shocks and a round of medications his heart finally converted to a normal sinus rhythm.

Johnny rocked back on his heels with a sigh of relief and stayed until the ambulance arrived to make sure the man was safely on his way to Rampart. The next call was to his wife in which he offered calming words and information on how to get by his side. It was just as important to him that she find her husband and reach the hospital safely herself.

Rolling his tired and achy shoulders he stretched and was already beginning to feel where the tumbling boxes had pummeled him. Reaching down to pick up his basket of groceries he casually tossed a nearby can of tomatoes into it rolling his eyes at how a simple task had reached complications of epic proportion so fast.

Once he reached the front Carlos started ringing everything up and out of routine asked him.

"Did you find everything sir?"

Johnny almost chuckled then looked up to see the surprised look on the young man's face. "I think I found more than I bargained for."

The young man smiled back. "Mr. Ford, he would have died if you hadn't been here. What you did, it was amazing."

Johnny put the last item in the paper sack and looked up. "No. I just happen to be in the right place at the right time."

"Mr. Ford, he will be okay?"

"His vital signs were stable and Rampart will take good care of him."

That was enough for Carlos as he reached out to shake the medic's hand. "Thank you."

With two arms full of groceries Johnny headed out into the dark and now mostly abandoned parking lot to load up and get home. Closing the back door he heard his keys hit the ground and bent down to pick them up.

"What the hell?" He exclaimed with a loud groan as he looked at the flat rear tire.

With a quick look up to the dark sky, "Was this really necessary? Haven't I paid my dues for the day already?"

Knowing he had no other choice but to just get it done he pulled out the jack, tire iron and spare and proceeded to get to work. The process wasn't complicated and he had definitely done it more than once in his lifetime but now he was completely exhausted as the ordeal of the day seeped into his weary bones.

Putting everything back into the rear compartment he dragged himself into the seat and pulled onto the road. By now his brain was anesthetized and his shoulders were throbbing. The thought of getting home to a hot shower was the only thing on his mind. It was nearly ten o'clock by this point and his internal clock knew it was a work night and was urging him to his bed. Sleep had to be had soon or there would be hell to pay tomorrow for the lack of it.

Not even taking out the groceries from the Rover he hauled himself up the flight of stairs and straight to the waiting hot shower. When Mack popped back into this brain he slammed his hand on the shower wall and chastised himself for letting something so important slip his mind. Knowing it was probably too late to pay a visit he called the house before calling it a night. The fact that there was no answer didn't really surprise him because he knew that Mack was scheduled to work in the morning too. Making a mental note to call him from the station tomorrow he poured himself a glass of cold milk and headed to bed.

Within minutes he was sound asleep.

* * *

"So Johnny boy, how did your date go this weekend?" Chet asked as he tied his shoes in the locker room.

Johnny scoffed. "Date, I've not had time for a date in two weeks."

Chet rested his elbow on the leg propped up by a bench. "Busy? What could you possibly have to do on your days off to keep you busy? Single guy, no kids to chase, no wife to entertain? I mean who could ask for more than that?"

"I resent that remark," Roy muttered from the sink.

Chet tossed him a waved hand. "You don't count Roy."

Roy turned around with a puzzled look and started to speak before Johnny jumped in.

"Look Chet. I may not be married but I have obligations too you know. Besides, yesterday was," he shook his head, "insane. I can't even begin to tell you all the craziness I had to dodge just to get home in one piece."

"Yea, yea, sure," he muttered as the tones sounded.

_HOUSE FIRE WITH EXPLOSION…..412 WATERSIDE DRIVE…..TIME OUT 0802_

Johnny grabbed his turnout and ran to the squad as the announcement repeated and Cap wrote down the information. Jumping into the passenger seat he turned a shocked head to Roy.

"What?"

Johnny felt frozen in place. "Roy, that's Mack's place."

"Is he working today?"

"Yea, thank goodness." Even knowing Mack was at his own station today didn't quell the rising sense of alarm in his stomach.

By the time they arrived at the scene the downstairs and attached garage was engulfed in flames. Station 110 had already arrived and had hoses going to attempt to gain enough control to enter the house and search it.

The crew quickly donned their gear and waited for directions as to how to proceed while Hank got report from the Captain first on scene.

"Anyone in there?" Hank asked.

"I don't know Hank. This is Mack Peterson's house and I've put in a call to his station to see if he's at work."

Hank frowned at the possibility of a fellow firefighter in that inferno causing his instincts to be heightened beyond normal.

Another lineman ran up to them. "Cap, 86 says he was scheduled for today but never showed up. They got no answer at the house this morning."

Johnny's stomach sank to his knees just as another explosion came from the garage sending the large door falling to the ground.

"Cap, that's his car!" Johnny exclaimed as he pointed at the white sedan that peaked out through the flames.

As soon as he said the words their feet were moving knowing the sick knot in his stomach was screaming that something horrible had happened here. Hank directed his men to tackling the garage as the other crew tried to gain access into the front door. As soon as entry into the garage was possible Roy and Johnny ran straight to the car only to find the doors locked and the interior full of black smoke. Circling it Johnny saw the rear window had been blown out and the car was charred. Roy urgently scanned the floor around him and grabbed the pry bar that was visible out of a bucket of random tools and smashed the back windows so he could reach in and unlock the driver's door.

It was painfully obvious they were too late and nothing could be done to save the man and as Johnny took steps backward he began shaking his head knowing where the puzzle pieces would lead.

"No," he shuttered.

Roy knew it too as the thick smell of carbon dioxide poured out towards them, the locked doors, the open gas cans littered on the floor of the garage. He also knew now wasn't the time to debate the details.

"Johnny, we got to get this fire out."

Grabbing his partner by the elbow they left the garage and met Hank in the driveway. The quiet shake of their heads instantly told of the heartbreak that had unfolded before them. With a few directions the medic's split up and re-joined the battle to bring the raging beast under control, leaving doubts and questions tucked away for another time.

When it was all said and done the house was a complete loss. No one had the willpower to say that the house seemed to cry out that it had already lost its heart anyway. The word spread quickly through the crews on scene and the cleanup was quiet with an undercurrent of resentment that one family could experience so much tragedy.

Pulling into the station Johnny and Roy had traveled the way back home without any words spoken. Roy knew the man through work but it was Johnny who had known him better than any of them and called him friend. He was a friend of the family and had even been there when Sarah had delivered her baby a few years ago. The silence from his friend was expected as the loss of a firefighter always hit very close to home, no matter what the reason was. Roy knew though that Johnny needed time to deal with it in his own way and when he was ready he would look for him to vent the frustration, anger, and grief. Until then Roy would wait and be patient.

The rest of the shift went quietly as the lingering feeling of mourning hung in the air like a thick morning fog that resisted in releasing them. Johnny didn't know what was worse, being out on calls and trying to pretend like everything was okay or sitting at the station where all you could do was think. Neither was working today and the image burned in his memory of Mack locked in a car waiting to die tore at him until he thought he couldn't hold it together.

As if he had ESP Roy would manage to wander through right at that moment and just share a look of understanding with him allowing him to rein it back in for just a little longer. At least until the next lull allowed the images to creep back in and consume him.

The hard part now was telling Roy what he had done and his part in Mack's death.

* * *

Soaking up the hot California sun on his face he leaned against his Rover, eyes closed, and worked at replacing that horrible image with a memory that seemed just like yesterday. Piece by piece he pulled up the birth of Turner and how the race to the hospital had involved two cars, one bus, four police officers and a fire truck. Like something out of a movie he smiled at the vision of a glassy eyed new father who somehow managed to beat his wife to the labor room and thought he had missed the whole thing. They were good memories that struggled to keep the overwhelming loss to the edges.

"Johnny?"

He opened his eyes to see Roy looking at him with his predictable worried frown. "I was remembering the day Turner was born."

Roy smiled back. "That should have been filmed. It would have made a great TV comedy episode."

Johnny's smile faded. "I should have been there this time too."

Shaking his head, "There wasn't anything you could have done. Everyone thought he was at work."

Standing up he shook his head stronger. "This was my fault Roy. I should have been there to talk him out of it."

Roy stepped forward now with concern on his face. "Johnny, you can't take responsibility for what another man decides, especially something like this. It's a tragedy. More like one right after the other but we're not responsible for any of it."

He ran his hand through his hair. "He's called me so much over the last few weeks. We did dinners out, watched games, had late night beers, played pool, darts and anything else that would let him have a single moment of peace from what happened that night."

"That's right, you were there for him."

Johnny's voice turned harsh. "It wasn't enough! He called me yesterday Roy and begged me to come over because he needed to talk. I was going to go then," he flung his hands in the air, "everything went to hell, late appointments, heart attacks, flat tires. By the time I got home it was so late I decided to just call him. He didn't answer." He began pacing in front of the cars. "I should have known then something was wrong."

Roy stepped up and grabbed his arm. "Listen to me Johnny, you did all you could. You were there when no one else had the time. There's no way you could have known that call was any different than the ones before." Feeling like he wasn't getting through he raised his own voice. "This was not your fault!"

Johnny pulled his arm away. "That's easy for you to say he didn't call you for help. I should have gone. I should have been there Roy and now it's something that I have to live with."

As Roy watched his friend walk away reeling with a personal pain he knew that Johnny would need time to recover. He only hoped that he could convince him that sometimes even being a best friend just isn't enough to save someone.


	2. Chapter 2

Ember's Beacon

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home. _

"Without a family, man, alone in the world, trembles with the cold." Andre Maurois

A/N: Thank you to all those who have taken the time for read along with me. Sorry this chapter took so long, the fun of real life sometimes :)

Chapter 2

* * *

The elongating shadows that stretched into the bay with the morning sun seemed to reflect the somber faces of the men standing before him. It had been a long hard week for them as they endured the painful duty of saying goodbye to a fellow firefighter and friend. Even as his own heart ached with hearing the soulful cries of Mack's mother Hank had held out hope that Johnny and Roy had been wrong with their on scene assumption. It had been heartbreaking to find out that the investigation had proven otherwise and they all carried sorrow and confusion knowing that he had taken his own life.

The Captain took a silent inventory of the men standing in front of him with an understanding that it was part of his job and personal sense of responsibility to help them through this crisis. Part of his training had included a basic knowledge that each man would mourn in a different way, intensity, and even duration and nothing was a one size fits all solution.

In a talk with Roy to check on the junior medic he had shared Johnny's self-perceived guilt which would only serve to intensify his feelings of anger, frustration, and failure. It was a rocky path leading to self-driven questions that more than likely could never and would never be answered. Hank also knew that the younger medic's devotion to his friends ran deep and enduring. Since Roy was Johnny's closest friend at the station he would be relying heavily on Roy to keep him posted on how things were going, positive or not. There was no doubt about Johnny's skill as a firefighter and paramedic; however, the weight on his shoulders reflected his primary responsibility as Captain which was to make sure that no matter what the man was going through the job could be done.

He cleared his throat. "We've all had a rough week and I appreciate the time you put into helping out with the funeral and house clean up this past weekend. Mack's sister told me they would be leaving to return home to Florida today and expressed her gratitude that he had so many good friends. The department chaplain will be contacting you this week to offer his services in case anyone needs to get anything off their chest. As far as here I expect everyone to be on their game and ready to work. If you can't do that then I need you to come and talk to me."

It was an unsaid given that the group was pretty resilient and wouldn't easily admit to needing outside help even if they did need it. For now he'd done all he could and there was a station to run. As the men nodded silently he knew the best thing was to move forward.

"Lopez, what's for dinner tonight?"

Marco's head popped up and he smiled. "I think I'll make my momma's enchilada casserole."

This time the head nods were a bit more eager and for Hank it was a good sign.

"Sounds good pally. Let's get busy. Last shift had a rough night and we need to work on some hoses."

* * *

Roy pulled out the trauma box and opened it up to do inventory before the shift got too busy. Making a supply list always started the day and being in a routine seemed to ease the viscous air of disquiet that filtered around them.

"Call um out and I'll start the list," Johnny said as he leaned against the squad.

"Thanks. One D5LR." He intentionally didn't make any eye contact with Johnny hoping it would keep him more relaxed and not feeling like he was in the observation ward at county lock up. Johnny was far from senseless and already knew he would be at the center of scrutiny.

"Okay. Dwyer said we were getting low on Morphine."

The tone of his voice was actually encouraging. The last few days it had been painfully obvious with how hard he was taking everything but this morning he was almost sounding like the old Johnny.

"Yea, we only have one here. We need a box of 4x4's and a couple new rolls of tape."

Johnny nodded. "Roy?"

He looked up. "Yea?"

"You know after the funeral I talked to his sister some."

Roy looked up. "Yea? She seemed nice."

Johnny agreed with a head nod. "Did you know he was seeing a psychiatrist?"

Sitting on the running board of the engine Roy gave a short shake of his head. "No, but I guess it wouldn't be something he would just go around talking about."

"I guess so." He shuffled his feet a bit. "I guess I really had no idea how bad he was doing with it all."

Roy let out a deep exhalation and looked up to his friend. "I think he was just doing all he knew to do in the face of a horrible situation. I can't," he paused and felt the shiver run through him. "I can't even begin to think how I would feel if I lost my family all at once like that."

Now Johnny looked uncomfortable with the discussion as evidenced by the furrowing of his eyebrows and the lack of eye contact. Roy knew it was time to back off and offer distraction and they returned to counting stock.

* * *

Roy stood on the edge of the concrete bridge looking down and resisted the impulse to put his arm out in front of Johnny who was leaning further over the railing and making him nervous. They stood on a county road overpass which overlooked a now washed out mountain gorge after being called out for a man down alarm. The once small creek was now a rushing torrent of muddy water from rains that filtered down through the mountains washing away everything in its path penetrating deeper into the ravine.

"Well, it's down alright," Johnny commented with a slow shake of his head.

"How'd he do that?" Chet asked as he leaned way over trying to see the man who dangled from the end of rope that seemed to be looped on his ankle.

Hank pulled on Chet's coat. "If you don't back up we'll be rescuing you next."

Johnny shook his head and yelled down again as the man flailed his arms. "Don't move!"

The distance and rushing water didn't allow them to clearly hear what the man was yelling though he did seem to hear them for the most part as they watched him grow still again.

"I'll go down," Johnny said as he pulled the repealing gear on.

"I'll do it Johnny."

He continued to buckle the belt. "It's my turn. You did the skyscraper last week."

That didn't make him feel any better though he knew his partners mind was made up and arguing would only delay the rescue. What would help was to make sure every rope was secure and that there would be no glitches during the rescue.

Pushing off the edge Johnny stayed in position until his swinging motion slowed. During that time he could see the understructure of the bridge, where the man's rope was tied off and what looked like a hikers backpack tucked into the thick bulky rafters. Once his momentum had slowed he began the descent to the dangling man below running his line parallel and about fifteen feet away.

Reaching the same level as the suspended man he could visually confirm the mass of tangled rope that was around the man's ankle and leg.

"Hey, can you hear me?" Johnny called out to the lifeless appearing body.

The voice was weak and shaky, barely heard above the surrounding noise. "Please."

"Are you hurt?"

"Yes," was all he could get out and though he couldn't see the man's face the voice was clearly full of pain.

Beginning a gentle pendulum swing he gaged the distance between them and knew there was a risk at reaching out to grab the man not knowing exactly how hurt he was. As soon as he had the chance he grabbed ahold of the man trying to minimize the jerking action as the man cried out in pain.

Once he was still he began a rapid assessment of his injuries. A quick look revealed a very dusky and abnormally positioned ankle which spoke of constriction and fracture. His hip was painful to palpation and Johnny suspected a hard yank of the fall could have dislocated or even broken it, never mind the significant potential for back injury. At the same time his mind sorted the injuries he worked at the best manner of getting the man back up top.

"JOHNNY!"

He looked up to see Roy waving then pointing gesturing under the bridge. Johnny knew instantly what the panic was over. The wearing of the rope was about to give and suddenly there was no other decision except to hold on to the man and let them be pulled up together with an urgent prayer for his own rope to hold them both. With a new found sense of urgency he slipped the belt around the man's waist and secured him to his clip then wrapped his arms around just in time to feel the full weight of the man fall into his arms. With disbelief he watched the other end of the rope fall past them to dangle below.

Each pull of progress upwards caused the man to grunt in pain. "Stop," he said with barely a whisper.

"Hang in there, we're almost there."

"The pain," he agonized.

"I know, hold on for me. We'll get you some relief soon."

"No," he groaned before passing out again.

Seeing the faces of Hank and Roy peering over the edge just above him he let out his whisper of thanks from under his breath. "The ankle is broken, maybe hip too. Back pain."

Roy understood the patient's needs instantly and pulled the backboard right beside them as they used calculated gentleness in lifting the broken man over the edge. Once Johnny was topside again he saw they were already working on stabilizing the neck as Marco pulled out IV supplies. The question of how he got there remained unanswered as he drifted in and out of consciousness while they worked. Contact with Rampart elicited orders for an IV fluids and rapid transport as the helicopter came into view and landed just up the road from where they were. Over the powerful engine noise Johnny motioned that he would go with the man as Roy acknowledge the call and began packing up supplies to meet up at Rampart.

"Did he say how he wound up down there?" Hank asked Roy as they packed up.

"I don't know Cap but Johnny said it looks like he had that little camp set up under the bridge. I think when the rains came through it washed away what stability he had."

"Damn lucky to be alive," Hank muttered as they headed to their vehicles. "Get us back home Stoker."

* * *

Once they were in the trauma room it was easy to see how unkempt the man was. No more than forty years old, his clothes tattered and torn, he was unshaven with a rough beard and mustache growing in, shoes with holes in them and a body that looked malnourished.

"He looks like a homeless man from downtown," Dixie said as she tried to clean off his face. "What in the world was he doing out that far?"

Johnny just shrugged. "I don't know Dix. By the time we reached him he wasn't very coherent. What ya think Doc?"

Joe Early looked at the x-rays. "You were right. That left hip took a blunt force trauma, broken ankle, spine looks okay though. I think when we get these fractures repaired and get him hydrated he'll start to wake up for us."

A sigh of relief escaped. "Good Doc."

Dixie followed him out to the hallway. "Johnny, how are you holding up?"

He knew what she was talking about and shrugged. "Okay I guess. Just still a shock I think that he could even do such a thing."

"It's never an easy thing to understand and even harder when you can't ask him the questions."

He nodded. "I just help but thinking." He paused.

She put her hand on his arm knowing where he was heading after her conversation with Roy a few days after the funeral. "You were a good friend Johnny, don't ever doubt that."

Looking into the homeless man's room he frowned and tensed up. "I didn't know he was that bad. I missed that. Like that man in there, he probably has no one and even with me being around that's how Mack felt. Alone."

"Johnny, we'll do what we can to help the man in there and you did what you could for Mack. And that's all we can do, the best we know how at the time."

Turning to see Roy walking up he stepped back from Dixie and suddenly looked uncomfortable with the conversation. Dixie took the hint and didn't pursue it anymore.

"Didn't you two get enough playing on ropes as kids Roy?"

Roy chuckled. "I leave the swinging from vines to Tarzan here. How's he doing?"

"He's heading up for surgery but Joe thinks he will be fine."

Roy dropped the backpack by the door. "I think this is all he has so figured he might need it again."

Johnny cocked his head to the side and looked incredulous. "You went down there after I left?"

Roy was a little taken aback by his reaction. "It was just under the bridge Johnny. No big deal."

"No big deal? Are you kidding me? The whole reason he almost plunged to his death was because it was unstable under there."

He took a step forward. "Look, I'm fine. Chet and Marco secured my line and it only took a couple of minutes."

"I'll be in the squad," he answered abruptly and headed down the hall and out the double doors.

"What was that about?" Roy asked Dixie.

"It's normal Roy. Just give him space."

With a nod he turned and followed his partner to the squad and climbed in the driver's seat. Johnny sat with his arms crossed and stewed.

"Mind telling me what that was about?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

Roy knew it was a closed door for the moment and decided it was better to just let him be until he was ready to share what was going on in that head of his.

"Why would you take that kinda risk?" Johnny blurted out as they sat at a red light.

Roy had to reorient himself to the previous conversation. "This is over that backpack?"

Johnny turned towards him and looked furious. "This is about you risking your life for something that wasn't important."

Roy pursed his lips together in thought for a moment determined to keep the conversation calm. "Well, I figured the man didn't have anything else so it might be important to him. It might have been all he had."

It was clear he was about to say something as his mouth opened but then quickly shut without letting the thought escape. He turned back to the front window. "Next time I just wish you'd be more careful."

There were a dozen responses and retorts to that remark that filtered through his brain but Roy let it rest knowing that anything he said would only sound like he was trying to antagonize him further. He suspected it all led back to the loss he was feeling and his own close friendship they had together here. Clearly it all tied together and when strong emotions were involved often reason wasn't welcome. He was hoping that things were getting better for his friend though now he realized his judgment had been premature. It was clear that his friend was still in the beginning stages of grief with shock, anger, and guilt.

* * *

When their next shift arrived Roy entered the locker room to find Marco and Chet trying to pry information out of Mike regarding his weekend adventures. The mood was lighthearted and he knew for them life was going on. His weekend had been spent doing yard work at the house and not surprisingly he had never heard from Johnny. It wasn't like they did daily phone calls or anything just with three days off they would often catch a game and a beer on one of the evenings. From his end the silence had been unnerving and it had taken all Roy had to let Johnny have his space.

When everyone headed out to the bay for roll call Roy's concern grew. "You guys seen Johnny?"

Mike nodded. "Yea, he was here when I got here out there checking the boxes with Jackson."

Roy mumbled his thanks and headed out to the roll call and sure to his word Johnny stood there already waiting and ready to go. Once the morning routine was finished they gathered in the day room for coffee and a surprise treat.

"Hey Cap, where did all the muffins come from?" Chet asked as he reached for a large blueberry one that looked delicious.

"Glad you asked that Kelly," Hank started. "Those are from the teachers at Carson Elementary."

Chet immediately put the muffin down and backed away from the table. Hank smirked and shook his head. "Easy there Chet. You're off the hook. It's Johnny and Roy's turn."

Johnny's mouth was already full of blueberry when he sat back in the chair with a disappointed look on his face. "Awww, Cap," he mumbled.

"Don't Awww me, your turn. You know the drill."

They both shot a glare to Chet who was now laughing as he picked up a muffin in each hand. Johnny stood up and picked up four of the muffins which cut the laughter short.

"Hey," Chet whined.

Johnny raised his eyebrows. "Don't 'hey' me. We'll be busy earning these so we'll just take them now before you inhale them all."

Roy shook his head. "Let's get going partner. We have just enough time to get supplies before heading to the school."

* * *

"Don't tell me you enjoy this," Johnny grumbled as they pulled out supplies from the squad and hauled it all inside.

Roy shrugged. "Teaching is a part of the job I don't mind."

"And every time we come I seem to be the one that gets pranked."

With his back turned, picking up boxes, Roy smiled. "Well, you are the most practiced at it."

"Funny Roy, funny."

Once inside they set up in the drama room and waited the group of fifth graders to come in. It was a service that the county fire department did for the schools and though they enjoyed sharing what they did with the kids it was often a challenge. Attention spans were short, restlessness was quick, and it being an adventure was an understatement.

As the group of kids began to filter in the men stood at the ready in their best professional stance. The class teacher came up front and encouraged everyone to settle down and listen as she pointed out the loudest and threatened them with removal of recess. Johnny's raised eyebrows made Roy grin.

"Don't worry partner I won't take your recess away," Roy chuckled.

The return glare spoke of reprisal in his future and he quickly redirected his attention to the dim roar that came from the crowd.

After being introduced by the teacher Roy began the instruction on what they did and what their titles were. Normally he took the role of telling the paramedic side of their jobs then Johnny would discuss fire safety. Randomly calling up kids they tried on oxygen masks and their favorite part was getting to hold the defibrillation paddles.

"Zzzztttttt,"the little boy sounded as he pretended to zap a fellow classmate.

"Easy there partner," Johnny called out as he gently took the paddles away from him. Knowing the machine was turned off wasn't completely comforting to him even though Roy's look of amusement reminded him they were kids after all.

"Can we put them on you?" The innocent little face asked him with a smile.

He was shaking his head before any words even came out. "Oh no, why don't you just let me have those."

The little girl giggled.

Johnny sat back and watched the kids as Roy continued his first aide talk with some delusion that he could make sure everyone was behaving. They were all between ten and eleven years old, a pretty even mix of boys and girls with little clique that grouped together in their own whisper circles. Johnny watched as two boys seemed much more interested in a couple of girls than Roy while one was apparently pocketing all the chalk he could find.

A taller young boy who wore an obvious look of trouble and seemed older than those around him was busy tormenting the girl sitting next to him. Johnny would call it tormenting as he poked, pushed her books in the floor, flipped her hair and seemed to take great pleasure in doing anything possible to annoy her. Although she remained quiet her look wasn't one of submission to the bullying, more like defiance that burned in her eyes. Johnny smiled as he though the clock was ticking down on when she would repay the attention. He could see it in her face, she was plotting.

Roy clearing his throat brought him back to reality and he easily slid into his own talk with information on what firemen did, the equipment they used and describing the situations they might find themselves in. This was the part that typically the boys to show more interest at least for a little while. Part of his demonstration was pulling up one of the boys to put on the turnout gear but this time as he eyed the group the young girl, who now had scissors aimed at her stringy blonde hair, caught his attention and he pointed to her.

"You," he suddenly called out.

The bothersome boy next to her stood up and looked eager to move up front.

Johnny shook his head. "No, her."

Her head shot up and met his eyes with a look of bewilderment. "Me?"

Again he nodded and motioned for her to come forward then took pleasure in the look of disappointment that her tormentors displayed.

She was petite and seemed small for her age, wearing nice but unexceptional clothing of a flower print dress and sandals. Her dirty blonde hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail that left trailing strands around her face. Standing up and moving to the front the other students grew quiet as they watched her like she was walking into traffic and they debating stopping her. It surprised him how unfriendly they were as they stared at her. Her approach was confident though she remained quiet and he caught the glare she returned to her classmates that snickered at her now.

Johnny greeted her with a smile.

"These are the tanks we wear to provide oxygen while we are in a fire. Want to try them on?"

Lacking excitement for the opportunity she still shrugged and answered him. "Okay."

As he helped her into the oversized turn out pants, coat, boots then tanks and mask she took the growing weight without complaint.

"Now tell me if this is uncomfortable for you," he said as he tightened the mask and let the oxygen course through for her.

The room remained quiet as they watched her waiting for a sign she would bolt or cry or maybe even fall over. But she did none of the above as she held her ground and did exactly what he told her. Pulling the equipment off he continued to talk to the room describing how each piece protected their lives.

When the overhead bell range the teacher clapped her hands and instructed the class to say thank you which was accompanied with applause and a generally good response. Johnny helped the young girl climb out of all the gear as he told her thank you for doing such a great job.

"You're welcome," she said with a gentle smile.

"I'm Johnny," he paused with raised eyebrows and an encouraging look.

Her smile faded and she tilted her head slightly. Realizing what he wanted she pressed her lips together as she seemed to contemplate her desire to answer.

"Embury, everyone calls me Ember though."

"Interesting name," Johnny said with a smile. "I guess you were the perfect one for me to have demonstrate today huh?"

Her smile quickly disappeared. "I don't like it when people make fun of my name."

He picked up on the serious nature of her tone and face.

"Well, I wasn't making fun of it. I think it's a nice name and I also think you did a very good job helping me today."

A small smile came to her face. "Thank you."

The teacher's quick grab of her arm sent them both hurrying towards the door. "Next class Ember, hurry."

The busy teacher turned back to the medics. "Thank you so much fella's. I think the kids really enjoyed it today."

Roy turned towards her with two hands full of equipment. "Our pleasure."

She was quickly out the door heading towards another group of students in the hallway who were laughing and pointing in their direction.

"Not bad," Roy said as he passed a box to his partner to load into the squad.

Johnny smiled and nodded his head in agreement. "Yea, definitely worth the muffins."

Roy closed and locked the compartment before pausing in front of Johnny. "Well," he hesitated.

"Roy?" Johnny said nervously. "What did they do?"

Roy walked around him and pulled a large piece of paper off his back that said KICK ME. Johnny snatched it out of his hands and promptly wadded it up into a ball.

"Those kids….."

Roy chuckled. "It was still worth the breakfast and besides, I think you made a new little friend."

Johnny followed his eyes to see the little ponytailed girl watching them from a second story window.


End file.
